What I Learned While Taking Time Off

This past fall, I announced that I would be taking some time off to prioritize myself. As supportive as everyone was, I also been received a lot of questions about what I was doing. So in an effort to be more open & honest about the process, I wanted to share some of the steps I took, what I learned, & what I believe can really make a difference in someone’s life.  

1. Find someone to talk to

I’m going to say this one time & one time only. Finding the RIGHT therapist is crucial. Just because someone has a degree or is an expert does not mean they are the right fit for you. But you need to find someone. Someone who is not your best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, mom, dad, brother, or sister. Trust me, everyone is deal thing with something & talking about your problems with the people in your life is good, but there will come a point when the people in your life will either not want to hear it anymore, may not give you great advice, or may be biased in certain situations. This is what a therapist is great for. That being said, therapy without learning & taking action is eventually just ranting. Find yourself someone who will give you tools with how to cope with certain situations in your life. 

2. Write Write Write

I don’t care if you’re good at it or not. Trust me it doesn’t matter. Getting your thoughts out can be a huge help. I truly am an introvert at heart & as social as I can be, I need my alone time to process. I have a million thoughts that run through my head each day & because I tend to overthink everything, it helps me to put these thoughts to paper and get them out there. Even in a place where no one will see them. Even if I just write them down & then thrown the paper away or delete the document. Writing can come in so many forms & for me, journaling & writing songs tend to help me process the best. 

3. Go to a doctor- there might be a physical part to all of this

For me, I realized just talking through things wasn’t the complete answer. Due to trauma from certain events in my life, part of my brain has not been firing correctly. Basically, my body has been in fight or flight mood 24/7 for the passed few years. This caused digestion issues, motor skill problems, and slower hand eye coordination. 

4. Exercise

Find what works for you. Find a routine. But switch it up. Growing up as a dancer, exercise was built into my everyday life. Unfortunately, I overworked some muscles while ignoring others. Because of this, I ended up with back & hip injuries that still affect me today. Now, I am learning the importance of targeting different muscles that my body doesn’t normally use. So for example, the sides of my gluten rarely fire. I can do all the squats in the world & I will basically only use my quads! To combat this, I have been going to pilates twice a week & mixing it up with weight training & cardio on the other days.  

5. Know when not to exercise

We all like to push ourselves. We all want out ideal bodies. But rest is crucial in any progress. If you haven’t heard of The Health Code Podcast, give it a listen because they do an incredible job describing the importance of ying & yang in your exercise routine. Basically, yang is your hard core training (what most of us think we need to do to achieve our goals) and ying is your relaxation days. Your meditation and calm yoga days. Sometimes we all just need a break & that is a-okay! 

6. Spend time in nature

This was a big one for me! Growing up in Colorado, I was constantly surrounded by outdoor activities & honestly I took it for granted. My dad slapped me on a mountain bike when I was 5 years old, I took hut trips & hikes up to cabins with my school, & skiing was a part of most normal weekends. By the end of my time in high school, all I wanted to do was go to a big city where I could eat & shop & see shows & experience culture. What I didn’t realize is the affect being surrounded by chaos & concrete would have on my mental health. Maybe it’s just me or just a certain type of person but I need to be out in nature is the world God designed for us to feel content & balanced. This was something I didn’t even realize about myself until I was away from it for long enough but wow it makes a huge difference. So sure, call me a tree hugger but I would rather go on a camping trip than a weekend in Vegas. That’s what brings my heart joy. 

7. Find what brings you joy

Speaking of what brings my heart joy, I think it’s super important to figure out what little things help you find happiness everyday. These things are so different for each person but for me, I love cute coffee shops, home good stores, mountains, ocean views, and basically anything in a pastel color palette. I love calming indy folk music & country music. I love picnics & I love discovering cute new places. I’m not the girl you’re going to find at the club listening to rap music but I’m also not the girl you’re going to find fly fishing & hiking 14ers. It took me a long time to realize this but the point is- to each their own. 

8. Surround yourself with people who fill you up

It sounds simple. But a lot of us pour a lot of energy into people we don’t actually help us grow. We hold on to friendships & relationships out of convenience or fear. It’s terrifying, but sometimes letting go of people is the biggest gift you can give to yourself. I have recently had to back away from certain people who used to be major part of my life. Sometimes these step backs come naturally with growing apart & sometimes they need to be put in place eventually. But trust me, you’ll thank yourself for doing it. 

9. Set boundaries

Speaking of stepping away, I want to talk about boundaries. This is one of the steps on this list that I have such a hard time with. I have really had to force myself to put boundaries into place with work, relationships, & even in my own desires. If you know anything about Enneagram types, you’ll know that the type 1 is the perfectionist & the type 2 is the helper. Well I am a 1w2 which means I like everything to be perfect & I overextend myself for others. This can end up being draining & ultimately hurtful if my efforts are not reciprocated by others which is why boundaries are crucial. 

10. Turn to Him

Lastly, this is my truth. I identify as a Christian & I believe that during any trial or success, ultimately I need to turn to God. Faith is an extremely personal thing & for me is ultimately where I find my purest joy & love. Knowing that I have a God who loves & cares for me more than I will ever begin to comprehend absolutely blows my mind in the best way. Investing in your faith can be difficult, especially when we live in a culture that doesn’t always encourage it. Being in a collegiate environment makes this especially difficult, but for me, finding community has been extremely helpful.